Don’t Shoot the Messenger

Don’t Shoot the Messenger

Brain blurts and messages

For the past couple of weeks, I've been writing 'morning pages', which involves three pages of longhand writing every morning, to dump all of the stuff going around in your brain onto paper to make way for more creativity.  It's the brainchild of Julia Cameron, whose book, "The Artist's Way", I bought as an extra special treat for myself.  I've been going along dutifully writing every day without it having much of an effect on me externally, sometimes having to force myself because I've had nothing to say and at other times a little disappointed that the three pages have come to an end so quickly.  Until this morning.

This morning I'm not even sure what started the ball rolling, but I found myself realising that the resentment I've held towards being retrenched last year, just as I was about to purchase my dream house, was representative of all of the broken dreams I've ever had. I didn't even realise it until the ink flowed onto the paper and then it was a revelation. I realised that the mourning over the loss of that house also represents my fears of not fulfilling my dreams but that the fear is unfounded because I'm slap bang in the middle of manifesting them and it's all part of the process.

Every day I step closer and closer to manifesting the ideal life for me and that makes NOW the ideal time for me as well.  What a relief that realisation is!  To know that I can easily thank my fear and let it go. To realise that I'm fine and so is my life and things will only continue to improve, without having to sell my soul for corporate greed, while building my business ethically and in accordance with what my heart and soul tell me is right.

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at

Sometimes it takes a little more than pen and ink

You know how when you first have the idea for your magnificent business you start watching others to see how they do things?  Well, there's this one particular person I've been following for a while. At first I thought she was great but then I began to feel bombarded by all of her stuff.  Eveywhere I turned she was there.  In groups I belong to online, in my inbox, on Facebook.  It's a wonder she didn't visit me in my dreams! That was just the surface of it, though. Via morning pages and journalling about this, I've realised that not only was I jealous of her success, but I was also falling prey to the idea that in order to be successful I had to BE like her. I felt really bad about it, until I realised the reason behind it.  The message is that I will not succeed by copying others.

That seems like an obvious message at first, but the next time you find yourself feeling a little jealous or critical of someone else's success, stop and sit with that feeling.  WHY is it making you feel bad?  Why on earth are you spending all this time worrying about them when it's your choice to associate with them, or not? Could it be because you feel you need to resort to the same tactics in order to be successful?  This doesn't just relate to business, but to any situation where you find yourself actively disliking someone else.

Once I realised this was yet another message about being authentic and true to myself, I saw this woman in a new light.  Her way is not my way and that's all so very good.  Better yet, she has been the most magnificent messenger - letting me know that I need to be me and find and appreciate my own unique ways of spreading my message.

Resolving the feelings that messengers bring

In the future whenever I have that really awful feeling of jealousy or sour grapes I'll sit with it until I recognise it for what it is, journalling about it if necessary, and then let it flow away. If you're looking for some tips on how to do it yourself this is my process:

  • Ground yourself by ensuring that your feet are placed firmly on the floor.  Feel your connection to the earth - solid, steady, unmoving.
  • Breathe deeply and notice whereabouts in your body you feel the yuk (that's the technical term for it)
  • Send that yukkiness out through your feet into the earth and through your breath into the air to be transformed into gratitude for lessons learnt and the messengers who bring them.
  • Write about how you feel and visualise/imagine the negativity transforming as you give voice to it via the ink on your page.
  • Mentally thank your messenger, either in your mind or in writing and feel the gratitude for the message they've brought you. (You don't have to let them know about it - this is more energetically speaking and meant to replace the feelings of yuk with feelings of thankfulness).

This is part of my message - there's that old saying that says people are mirrors of ourselves.  The next time you feel overly critical of someone, stop and ask yourself what is it about them that's trying to tell you something?  It's an incredibly powerful moment when you get the message.  To my own recent messenger, even though she doesn't know it, I'm incredibly thankful and am sending her a wave of love and gratitude.


Have you ever felt less than positive towards someone else and then realised they were a messenger highlighting something you needed to hear? If you feel comfortable, please share in the comments below so that we can all learn and recognise the signs. Thank you!


  1. What a great lesson you’ve shared here, Shan. (I so love the title of this post, lol.)

    I do have an annoyance that keeps popping up; sounds as if I could apply this lesson so I can move into a different state of mind on it. I’ll go look for my lesson, I think.

    Thanks for such a thoughtful post once again!

  2. Thank YOU, Dar, for commenting on this post. I think it’s actually through conversation with you that this particular post started bubbling away in my subconscious – not that you’re the messenger referred to in the post. Our conversations allowed me to recognise my feelings for what they were, so thank you, my ever so gentle catalyst!

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